Friendsmas: how to host one
Friendsmas is a holiday get-together with friends, often a dinner and gift swap held before the family holidays begin. To host one, pick a date in early or mid December, set a simple food plan, choose a gift exchange format and keep the timeline loose. Here is how.
What Friendsmas is
Friendsmas is a casual name for a holiday party with friends, usually in the weeks before the family holidays. Some groups hold it every year as a tradition, and others use it as the main celebration. It is the same idea as Friendsgiving, but in December. See Friendsgiving gift exchange for the November version.
There are no official rules, which is why it works. Your group decides everything.
How to host
- Pick a date three to four weeks ahead. Weekends in early December fill fast.
- Send an invite with the time, place, food plan and gift swap rules.
- Choose a food plan: potluck, host cooks, or order in.
- Decide the gift format and send the budget.
- Plan one or two games and a playlist.
- Clean up as you go, and have a basket for coats and shoes.
Draw names for your Friendsmas gift swap. One link, no signup. Create your group, free
Food ideas
Ask about allergies and dietary needs in the invite and label dishes.
| Style | Menu idea |
|---|---|
| Potluck | Assign categories: mains, sides, desserts, drinks |
| Host cooks | One big main like lasagna or chili, with bread and salad |
| Appetizer night | Cheese, dips, sliders, a few sweets |
| Brunch | Egg bake, pastries, fruit, coffee and cocoa |
| Order in | Pizza or a catered tray, with homemade desserts |
Gift exchange formats
- Secret Santa: names drawn ahead, budget around $20. See Secret Santa for friends.
- White elephant: bring one wrapped gift, then steal. See white elephant rules.
- Gift-free: a donation or a homemade swap instead.
- Cookie or ornament swap: see cookie exchange rules and ornament exchange party.
A relaxed timeline
| Time | Plan |
|---|---|
| Arrival | Drinks, snacks, music |
| First hour | Food and chatting |
| Second hour | A game or two |
| Third hour | Gift swap and reveal |
| After | Dessert, photos, goodbyes |
Keep it to about three hours. Leaving a little early makes people want to come back.
Small touches that make it feel like a tradition
- Pick one recurring thing each year, such as the same playlist, a signature drink or a group photo.
- Have each guest bring a favorite holiday photo or a short toast.
- Keep a notebook where guests write a line about the year, and bring it back next time.
- Rotate hosts so one home is not always the venue.
- Set the next year's date before the night ends.
Run the draw
Create a group with the Secret Santa generator, share one link in your group chat, and people type a first name. No app, account or email. Add couples as can't-draw pairs. For the reveal, use TV mode to show pairs one at a time. See Secret Santa holiday party ideas for how to run the reveal.
Frequently asked questions
What is Friendsmas?
A holiday gathering with friends, often a dinner and gift swap held before the family holidays.
When should I hold Friendsmas?
Early or mid December, before family travel. Send invites three to four weeks ahead.
How much should a gift cost?
About $15 to $25 for most friend groups. Set one budget.
What if some friends do not celebrate Christmas?
Use a neutral name like a holiday gathering, and make the gift swap optional.
How do we do the gift swap?
Secret Santa, white elephant, or a homemade or donation swap all work.
Try it now
A draw takes about a minute. No signup, no email, a private link for everyone.
Create your group, free- Couples & exclusions
- Wishlists & anonymous questions
- Deletes itself in 60 days
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