Secret Santa rules

The core Secret Santa rules

1. Everyone who joins draws one name and buys one gift for that person.
2. Keep your match secret until the reveal. Do not tell anyone, including your partner or best friend.
3. Stay inside the budget. The organizer sets one number before the draw and everyone sees it.
4. Nobody draws themselves. Couples, roommates and people who live together can be set to not draw each other.
5. Gifts are delivered by the swap date. Late gifts are fine if you tell the group, but not after the party.
6. Be kind. The gift should fit the person, not the joke you want to make about them.
7. If you can not take part any more, tell the organizer early. Do not just go quiet.

Rules to decide before the draw

The core rules cover most groups, but five choices change how the game feels, so settle them in the invite and not halfway through. Write each one down so nobody can say they did not know.

• Budget: one number, with a floor if you want one. $20 to $25 is common for offices; family groups often land between $15 and $40.
• Swap date: one day, and a last day to join. Draw at least two weeks before the swap date.
• Gift type: anything goes, or a theme such as homemade, edible or under $10.
• Exclusions: who can not draw whom. Couples are the usual case. See Secret Santa with exclusions.
• Reveal: does the Santa stay secret forever, or are names shown at the party?

Hollyhush shows the budget and swap date at the top of every page, so the rules stay in front of everyone. Create your group, free

A ready-to-send rules block

Paste this into your group chat or invite email and change the numbers. It is short on purpose, because long rules do not get read.

Secret Santa 2026. Budget: $25. Swap date: Friday, December 18. Join by December 1. Names are drawn on December 2. Keep your person secret until the reveal. Gifts must be wrapped and labeled with a first name only. Ask your person questions through the group wall or chat so nobody gets found out. If you need to drop out, message me before December 5.

Rules for gifts

• Buy for the person, not for yourself. Wishlists help: ask for one, or use the wishlist tool in Hollyhush.
• No gag gifts unless the whole group agreed to a joke theme.
• Skip anything personal, like clothing sizes you had to guess, perfume or alcohol, unless you know it is welcome.
• Write a short card. One kind sentence changes how a $20 gift lands.
• Do not exceed the budget. If you do, say nothing, and expect the person to feel awkward if they did not.

A budget works because it is shared. If one person spends $60 in a $25 group, everyone else feels it.

Rules for staying secret

The point of the game is not knowing. Keep it by never asking the person you have a direct question that only your match could ask. Use anonymous chat instead, which exists in Hollyhush for exactly this. Do not buy a gift from the same store where they would see you at checkout. If someone guesses you, you may confirm or stay silent, but keep the group's plans as they were.

Optional rules that make it better

• Guess your Santa: everyone writes a guess before the reveal, and the closest guess wins a small prize.
• Three clues: each Santa gives three small clues over the final week.
• Mini gifts: add a $5 daily treat in the week before the main gift.
• Swap option: if a gift does not work, the receiver can swap it with the Santa's permission.

How to enforce the rules without being the bad guy

Rules only work if people see them. Put the budget, swap date and drop-out contact in the invite, repeat them in the reminder, and let the tool do the policing. A draw tool that hides matches stops peeking, and a visible budget stops the quiet creep upward. If someone breaks a rule, handle it privately and keep it light. Most rule breaks are forgetfulness, not bad intent. For the full story on handling trouble, see problems and fixes, and for planning order see how to organize a Secret Santa.